A week off!!

So not only am I off uni for a week, I am also taking some time off work. I am off for three weeks. Which feels like forever at the moment. I am a free woman.

What have I done so far? Well since breaking up from university I have purchased a new blanket and two new books; The One Memory of Flora Banks and A Quiet Kind of Thunder. Both new releases.

Anway, yesterday evening I bundled myself up in a blanket and finished Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I loved it. The book, as always, contained so much more detail than the film. I finally realised that after Malfoy's boring speech explaining how he got the Death Eaters into the castle (yawn) and Snape arrives, Dumbledore is not asking him for mercy. instead, Dumbledore is asking Snape to kill him. However I feel as though there is more to the story and after a short break I'll be starting Deathly Hallows.

However, after I finished Half Blood Prince I started The One Memory of Flora Banks. It took me three hours and I have finished it. It was interesting, and startling.  Some unexpected twists and turns, though it was quite obvious that there was a secret.

Flora Banks is quite unique. She has a perfectly 'solid' memory until the age of ten, when her family is in a car accident. However, she is told that she developed a brain tumour. She is told, by her parents, that the removal of the brain tumour meant that the doctors removed her short term memory with it. But this is something Flora lost in the accident. Anyway, Flora cannot maintain memory for more than a few hours at a time. She hasn't been able to since she was ten, and she is now seventeen. However, she kisses a guy (Drake) and manages to remember it the next day. This is the start of an adventure to the artic for Flora, and I just wish we'd seen more of it! Floras impulsive personality alongside her condition made me feel exhilarated and yet anxious! I felt as though I was her mother! But God, I resented her mother for keeping Flora contained. I despised Drake and even Paige at times. The ending was ultimately unsatisfying- I hated this particular cliff hanger. I put it down feeling a little disheartened.

Since then I have been reading A Quiet Kind of Thunder by Sara Barnard. So far I've got to page 97. I am content. The cover is beautiful and the concept is lovely. Barnard is doing a wonderful job. Some parts are clichéd (taglines, especially) but it's an easy read. I'm quite happy with it. Some of the chapters that are focussed on anxiety are very detailed and I feel that Barnard did them justice. I will give a review, probably, later on. After Death Comes to Pemberley.

I doubt I'll manage to finish it tonight and I am off to Birmingham for the day tomorrow so it will be going with me. I'm meeting an old friend; I haven't seen Katie for about three years. I'm so excited! But I should say that I am terrible with trains, purely because I never go anywhere! Well I'll let you know how it goes!

Currently I am at a loss for what to do without university work. That seems strange, I know. But university is kind of like a break from reality. I only have to worry about deadlines when I'm at uni. Nothing else. It is a strange sort of peace.

I still have Death Comes to Pemberley to finish and I wanted to start Great Expectations soon. I'll get there.

Have a lovely week guys.

Yes, another post...

Deeply apologetic for this largely irrelevant post. I will probably delete it later.

After my terrible review of P.D James I finished my second assignment! One more to go! I get to go to bed before 2am!!

Rewarding myself with a better standard of book than P. D James and some relatable Sherlock gifs (I think I'm obsessed)

Good night guys.

Death by yet another Austen sequel...

Okay. I hold my hands up. I was warned and I went ahead and read it anyway. I should have listened to the advice I was given and I fully deserve an 'I told you so'. The worst part is that I'm not even finished!

Let's observe my goodreads posting for the day:

I've been updating my progress throughout the day, documenting my discontent as I've progressed. And before anything else, here we have a couple of my favourite quotes!

'If this were fiction, could even the most brilliant novelist contrive to make credible so short a period in which pride had been subdued and prejudice overcome?'

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

Oh! Then there was this!

'...but I think we can look to the ladies for this. Isn't that what they see as their function, to clean up the mess we make of our rooms and sometimes of our lives?'

Do I even need to say anything?!

Well P. D James, all I have to say is that I didn't think anybody could make Eligible appear half decent. You've made me appreciate Sittenfeld's attempt at modernising Pride and Prejudice. So I guess that's an achievement. At least Eligible had me laughing.

The writing is awful. The characterisation is even worse. Lydia's complete hatred for Elizabeth is almost painful to read. I am praying that Mrs Bennet doesn't make an appearance because I seriously don't think I can handle much more. The prologue was horrific. Honestly, I felt like it was Pride and Prejudice in five seconds. This feels like really bad fanfiction. I just want her to put these much loved characters down! Stop messing with them. You are underqualified!

I rolled my eyes at comments such as 'Elizabeth gave a cry of delight and, with Georgiana following, ran to the front door'. The ridiculous conversation between she and Colonel Fitzwilliam regarding Wickham was ridiculous. He asks Elizabeth if Wickham is still not accepted at Pemberley, then informs us that he is already aware of why this is, due to being Miss Darcy's guardian. For gods sake.

Quite frankly, everything about this book is driving me nuts. Even Elizabeth and Darcy's relationship is pissing me off.

After a quick google, I found a list entitled 12 'Pride And Prejudice' Retellings Even Serious Jane Austen Fans Will Love and it was one awful list. It started with Eligible, included what looked like a couple of chicklits, and ended with Death Comes to Pemberley, and Bridget Jones' Diary. I am fine with Bridget Jones. However, it did remind me of a book I read about a year ago... Austenland by Shannon Hale.

I re-read it this afternoon and realised why I'd disliked it so much. The premise is interesting, I guess. I don't know if it is meant to be ironic but Jane Hayes is literally the type of woman that Jane Austen was poking fun at in her books. There is a part in which Jane Hayes is depicted undergoing the realisation that rather than fitting the role of Elizabeth, she is more like Mrs Bennet. Maybe I'm being cynical after reading over 100 pages of P.D James. Either way, wow.

I will, of course, post a full and even more detailed review when I finish the book. I'm trying to get through it quickly, so I never have to look at it again!

Death comes to Austen?

Against my better judgement I have decided to purchase Death Comes to Pemberley. I have already been warned, and on my own head be it. I will post a review soon. I am interested to see which is more painful, P.D James or Sittenfeld's Eligible.

Today's purchases include Hamlet (two editions) and some very pretty vintage editions of Austen's Emma! No such thing as having too much Austen. I think I have three copies of each now. Is it safe to consider myself Austen obsessed now?

I started the day watching Meryl Streep's speech from The Golden Globes last night. She managed to criticise Donald Trump, rather severely, without even mentioning his name. Like Michelle Obama, she gave a speech that promoted unity. A true united front. I couldn't fault her for that. She spoke of a united front, particularly, between Hollywood and the press. She discussed what Hollywood was constructed of; 'a bunch of people from other places'. She stated that 'if you kick them all out, you'll have nothing to watch but football and mixed martial arts!' She laughed at this, and I was fist pumping the air at 8am this morning. Meryl Streep, you broke my heart with your speech and empowered me, simultaneously. She confirmed that 'violence incites violence'. It is a little shocking to think that this still needs to be repeated in order for it to be regarded as a universal truth. However, some still remain not only ignorant of it but accepting of it. It broke my heart. Meryl Streep presented a painful reality to me. Yet, she instilled hope in her words. Streep made me feel very differently about Hollywood today, and its potential.

What made me laugh was Trump's response to Streep's criticism:

"Meryl Streep, one of the most overrated actresses in Hollywood, doesn't know me but attacked last night at the Golden Globes"'.

Quite simply, I have nothing to say. I am disgusted. I think this statement speaks for itself.

It is now five in the evening and I am still at university. A little tired but still working on an essay that questions feminism in the Bond franchise. Almost, almost there. Wish me luck!

More later!

Late night rambling...

Once more I am here due to a need to escape my academic insecurities that, as usual, have emerged after five hours of writing and rewriting. It is five past one in the morning and I don't think I could possibly have anything interesting to say. It is freezing cold and I've decided to end the day watching Sherlock. Episode three of the first season. Life currently feels like Sherlock sitting in his pyjamas, shooting at a random wall. A little ridiculous and yet amusing. However, my episode of Sherlock is almost finished, and my fairy tales essay finally complete. I've decided to order a collection of Sherlock Holmes novels, purely out of interest. Thank god for next day delivery.

I cannot wait for the first semester's assignments to be over, simply so that I can read! My to be read pile is crying out for me to start it this year! My December to be read list did not go very well. I don't think I'm very good at working to a schedule. I've been thinking about all of the things I want to do this year. I definitely need to get my passport! I am eager to start travelling (wandering like Jennifer Niven's Violet and Finch). I've been thinking about Ireland.

I am currently reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I'm finding it very difficult after watching the film for the first time a few days ago. Dumbledore's death (spoiler alert?) was awful. I'm not ready to experience it again so soon. But I am just as in love with Rowling and her wizarding world as ever. Alongside this, I have started another Austen Project novel; Emma by Alexander McCall Smith. So far so good! After Eligible I'm keen to return to Austen, to correct the wrongdoings done by Sittenfeld. The very thought of reading anything more by her makes me shudder. I've been meaning to try Death Comes to Pemberley. However after catching bits of the ghastly television series, and reviews from trusted Austen lovers, I am inclined to avoid it.

Anyway, I saw a post on 'book riot' entitled 'retro rereads'. The idea is that every month, I pick a book I want to reread. That way there is a balance between new books to read, and books I want to reread. I always feel guilty for rereading, as though I'm not reading new enough books. I think this will be quite difficult to stick to. However I am willing to give it a go. I tried starting a list to follow for the year. But I'd rather just pick a book as I go along. This month, I decided to start small with The Perks of being a Wallflower. Beautifully inspiring, although the film made something painfully beautiful clichéd and awkward. My favourite line, and probably the most popular:

'We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve'.

This is definitely a sentiment I am beginning to understand.

I ended my week whilst watching Michelle Obama's emotional departing speech. I have never admired her more than I did whilst watching that. She urged young people to 'not be afraid', to hope and to use education in order to access society. As a means to obtaining a voice. Her voice wavered with the threat of an onslaught of tears. She displayed such a belief in hope, in young people, and in change. It was beautiful. Perhaps this is just me being soppy again. There is much to fear, but her belief in the power of hope enabled me to see past them.

Forgive me for having absolutely nothing interesting to say this evening. My brain has been fried by a revolting mixture of university and McDonalds (see what I did there?) I also blame falling down the stairs, twice, this week.

I don't think I shall ever subject you to my late night ramblings again. Deeply apologetic!
Good night.

Eligible; a review...

'This version of the Bennet family—and Mr. Darcy—is one that you have and haven’t met before: Liz is a magazine writer in her late thirties who, like her yoga instructor older sister, Jane, lives in New York City. When their father has a health scare, they return to their childhood home in Cincinnati to help—and discover that the sprawling Tudor they grew up in is crumbling and the family is in disarray.

Youngest sisters Kitty and Lydia are too busy with their CrossFit workouts and Paleo diets to get jobs. Mary, the middle sister, is earning her third online master’s degree and barely leaves her room, except for those mysterious Tuesday-night outings she won’t discuss. And Mrs. Bennet has one thing on her mind: how to marry off her daughters, especially as Jane’s fortieth birthday fast approaches.

Enter Chip Bingley, a handsome new-in-town doctor who recently appeared on the juggernaut reality TV dating show Eligible. At a Fourth of July barbecue, Chip takes an immediate interest in Jane, but Chip’s friend neurosurgeon Fitzwilliam Darcy reveals himself to Liz to be much less charming. . . .

And yet, first impressions can be deceiving.' (Goodreads)

This version of the Bennet family is one I wish I hadn't met. Mr Darcy was even more of an arsehole. Mr Bennet was called Fred (possibly one of the must amusing and yet horrifying additions). Lydia married a transsexual. Jasper. What? Even worse than Wickham's character. Much less endearing. Sittenfeld wasn't kidding, first impressions can be deceiving! I thought, 'yay! A modern Austen retelling!' What could go wrong, right?

Well.

It took me a good ten minutes to stop laughing after 'want to go to my place and have hate sex?' I was appalled and yet I couldn't stop laughing. Sittenfeld's characters have no tact! The very fact that Darcy and Liz were having hate sex every so often ruined the dynamics of their relationship for me. The tension between them was lost. There was no fire.

Then there was the declaration of 'love' but then again, it's 'probably an illusion caused by the release of oxytocin during sex'. Don't go overboard on the romance Darcy. At least Austen's Darcy was willing to admit he loved her, even if it was against his better judgement. Austen's much loved declaration of '"In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you” became:

'You're not beautiful, and you aren't nearly as funny as you think you are. You're a gossip fiend who tries to pass off your noisness as anthropological interest in the human condition. And your family, obviously, is a disgrace. Yet in spite of all common sense, I can't stop thinking about you'.

I honestly have no idea what to say to that. It didn't seem as though Liz Bennet did either. Following this was Eligible. Which I believe was modelled on Love Island? What irritated me was Chip (I mean really?! That's the best you could do?) Bingley's openness about the experience. The infuriating bit was that god awful wedding of Jane and Bingley's. A reality show wedding.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies irritated me, and this was a hundred times worse. I lost count of the amount of times Mrs Bennet (who, by the way, was even more insufferable than in Pride and Prejudice) requested that Jane's baby be passed off as Chip's on Eligible.

Additionally, the relationship between Mr Bennet and Elizabeth pained me. Or rather, a lack of a relationship between them. Though I felt he saw Elizabeth's point of view and accepted her help, I felt he disliked all of his daughters equally. That Elizabeth was no less important to him than the others. That made me feel a little bit uncomfortable and unsatisfied. Sittenfeld has missed so many emotional connections between characters.

I didn't mind Liz's portrayal but wondered what on earth she was thinking with seeing Jasper. What a jackass! Was the fact that he kept calling her 'Nin' when trying to excuse his appalling behaviour meant to be endearing and acceptable?

Whilst writing this review I've been scouring Goodreads, interested in the opinions of others. I have found a shocking amount of reviews that rate it with four and five stars!! These reviews refer to it as 'witty' and 'amusing'. Amusing, I will allow. But witty? Where?!

However, it was definitely amusing. I found it an easy read because of it's humour. But I didn't feel as though I was laughing with her, or appreciating her work. Instead, I felt as if it were a joke at her expense. This was been one of the worst novels I've read in a long time. I'm still looking forward to Alexander McCall Smith's Emma. Nothing can be as bad as Eligible.

At the end of the day who doesn't love a book that defines the title on the cover for you? Good lord.

Once Upon an essay...

I've settled myself at university for a few hours. After three hours of writing about fairy tales, reading the words 'once upon a time' even once more may well send me over the edge. I've found myself more drawn to blogging and procrastination than ever. It's really nice to be back, and to see some familiar faces. I am currently surrounding by library books covering everything from fairytales, to feminism, to James Bond. I also have a satirical screen play to write.

I finished Eligible a couple of days ago. It was the first book on my Goodreads list for this year. I'll be posting a review in a couple of days. My amusement and sheer horror cannot be kept in. First Mr Bennet's name being Fred, hate sex between Elizabeth and Darcy, and Lydia marrying a transsexual. Good god.

I'll save it for my review, anyway. I have so much to say that it requires it's own post.

Anyway, I had settled into the new year now. I've dyed my hair, cleaned out my Filofax and bought some new inserts, and have almost finished my assignments. So far, the worst thing to happen to me is dropping my phone on my nose whilst trying to text and rest at the same time. I've learnt my lesson. Don't lie on your back and text, folks. It hurts!

Anyway, back to Sherlock. I just started series one. Benedict Cumerbatch is very pretty and a very good Sherlock.