On turning twenty and practising self love

Good evening folks. It's my last few hours of been a teenager, so I thought it warranted a blog post of sorts. I'm a little bit excited to be turning twenty, and yet a little scared. I feel as though I should have, for want of a better phrase, my shit together. I feel as though I should be more together. I don't know. Twenty just suddenly seems very adult, and very real. Instead of getting my life together, I am drinking a mango capri sun in the aftermath of a pizza and cheesy fries. I've always been told I am an old head on young shoulders, but drinking juice from a carton does not seem very mature.

I've finally finished a book! I started re-reading A Court of Mist and Fury whilst I was writing my last post. I had forgotten how much I loved that book and had actually confused the endings. I, for some reason, thought that Rhysand had almost died or something. Turns out Feyre is trapped in the spring court with Tamlin. Who knew, right? Anyway, A Court of Wings and Ruin is released in 3 days! I repeat, 3 days! I finish work at four that day and am planning to boycott any of my responsibilities in order to read it in one sitting.

I've also been intermittently reading some Rupi Kaur. Milk and Honey is one heart-wrenchingly beautiful collection of poetry. I have her collection in Kindle edition and was reading it in Waterstones this morning. If reading Milk and Honey has taught me anything, its about self love. I am learning sometimes things are simply beyond my control and the best thing I can do for myself is to put myself first. Sometimes I will have to respect and love myself enough to walk away from things that are no longer causing me to grow. I think more often than not I mistake self love for selfishness and the two are so different.

My twentieth year will hopefully see some more self love.

Right, it's only a short one for tonight as I have some more essay work to do, a short nap to take, and some make up to put on before going out to celebrate. I hope you all have a week filled with happiness and books.

Good night guys, and let's all pray that I don't wake up with the mother of all hang overs tomorrow morning.