Monday, 13 February 2017

Happy Valentines day

Happy Valentines guys.

Let me start by saying that I do not mean to sound bitter at all, that I am totally cool with being alone (now that I've said this, you will automatically presume I'm covering for the opposite).

I have discovered links to pages, they've been shared on facebook, appeared in my suggested ads, entitled '17 reasons why every single girl hates Valentines day!' Wondering what these 17 reasons could possibly be?

Look no further...

I am not going to inflict upon you a link to this god awful list. So, I'll provide you with some of the particularly funny reasons. But first, The Metro did a wonderful piece over the weekend on the best bad valentines day card. This, was my particular favourite. 'I guess I like you more than the rest of these insufferable

To kick us off, it is presumed that the holiday reminds me that I am alone. As if I have forgotten. This implies the usual; sad and desperate and lonely. But also that the holiday throws me into a deep state of depression on account of me being alone.

Following this, it assumes that because I am single on Valentine's day must mean that I detest public displays of affection. This seems logical, right?!

Not only that, but there are no restaurant reservations! God damn the influx of couples that are taking over all of the restaurants within the city. In Wolverhampton this means Nandos, and The Little Desert Shop. However, not to worry! The article also stated that if I happen to feel the urge to leave the house alone on Valentine's day, I shouldn't. Why? Because people will think that I am easy! I will be a target for all kinds of attention.

Then there's the resent. I will automatically start to blame everybody else for my loneliness. God help my friends that are happy in a relationship. I will apparently be on the warpath. Then, to deal with my loneliness and jealousy I will start to comfort eat. Though take out is clearly off the menu because all of the restaurants are booked! Much too busy to accommodate a single person.

So apparently, Valentines is a roller coaster of emotions that will turn me into a fat, resentful spinster.

Fact: I am not fat, nor resentful, nor a spinster. I am single. I do not hate valentines day, but rather I am confused by it. And I am not fussed whether you wish to engage in PDA or not.

I do think that the holiday is very trivial and over-commercialised. Would I still think this is the case if I were the other half of a couple? Who knows. I fear we may never know.  But one thing I am sick of is the various adverts for discounted roses (how to do Valentines on a budget, good god). Even Aldi are jumping in on it! Though if you are interested in doing Valentines on a budget, a friend informs me that Asda are selling pizza with pepperoni shaped like hearts, you are all welcome.

After asking a friend how on earth I went about writing a post on Valentine's day without sounding bitter, she encouraged me to embrace the bitterness and proceeded to tell me that she and her boyfriend hated valentines day together. They celebrated a couple of days early and walked around the shopping centre mocking pieces of Valentines day merchandise they saw. I loved that. They don't need to subscribe to the pressures of the day to know that they love each other and were a brilliant example that couples feel the same! You go Hayley and James. Her thoughts on Valentines day:

'Valentine's day is a sham excuse for people who don't try all year round to be like oh hey I got you this card and these almost dead roses just so they can be [an ass] the rest of the year'.

An article pointed out to me, over the weekend, that this is the wrong way to argue against the holiday. Apparently it's a cop out for spinsters. I don't know. I'd personally rather a guy remember my birthday.  Buzzfeed, however, provided a great list of things that explained why Valentines day sucked! Interesting fact, the condom and home pregnancy test industry make more money on Valentines day than ever.

So in the course of this blog post I have discovered that it is a commercial holiday, it is stressful for both genders (and the single), expensive, and ridiculous.

I figure I'll have convinced you of one of two things by now:
1) That Valentines day is a pointless holiday.
2) That I am sad, bitter and lonely.

If it happens to be the second option, why not celebrate valentines day with a showing of Fifty Shades Darker? You know, the film that is said to 'dominate Valentines day'. Nothing screams of love and romance more than Fifty Shades of Grey. ('You know, the domestic abuse promoting, child abuse involving, absolute shitshow of a love story'-  thank you Hayley).

I give up.

Well, happy holidays folks. I still plan on spending tomorrow evening watching Clueless and reading Everyday Sexism, alone. I hope you have equally wonderful evenings.

I leave you with this link; 6 Netflix movies that will make you happy to be single.

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